A lot of people are single and searching. If you are in the category of those who are searching, you would be open to more greetings, more attention and of course many more invitations to date. As much as there isn’t any such rule that prevents women from approaching men, society seems to agree that men are those who should approach women and therefore I have chosen to write this specifically to the ladies who want to be loved for who they are. 

When you are meeting a guy for the first time and you are open for a relationship if he drops the bombshell, one of the things you must never do is trying to impress him. Before he made the initial step of coming to you, he may have checked you out on social media; he might have seen pictures of you looking good on makeup without any sight of acne on your face while of course, that isn’t exactly what you look like.

Regardless of what he might have seen on the social media, never try to impress him with more of what isn’t truly who you are. Don’t compete with a photo of yourself that was heavily edited with filters. Because you looked great in a photo doesn’t mean you should try harder to look that way just to meet an expectation of your date. 

If you have to put up so much effort to impress people, then you aren’t living out who you are. Don’t try becoming who you are not, let anyone who should like you like you for who you are. Whether your date likes you or not at first sight, it doesn’t change who you are nor does it reduce you.

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It is okay to look great! But you don’t have to spend so much time in the mirror trying to hide all the imperfections of your face. How long will you hide them? Isn’t that a sign of inferiority? Keep the best of your clothes for your best days, you are simply going there to meet someone, get to know yourselves better. Show up in your most comfortable way, wear what makes you comfortable and don’t try becoming someone else! Just be in your comfortable attitude, no need for gimmicks!

If you have a strong feeling that someone won’t find you attractive if you remain you, why put up a fake personality just to have their acceptance? Are you willing to live a fake life all your life? If you must wear makeup and pushup to be comfortable about yourself, then you’ve got a problem to deal with and that is low self-esteem.

When you depend on external things to feel great about yourself, how will you feel when those things aren’t there anymore or when we cannot afford them? It is not wrong to wear makeup and try looking extraordinary but if you must do them, do it because you love it and not because you have to impress anyone. What if you end up marrying him, will you have to wake up every morning with makeup on your face?

This isn’t to say that artificial hair, breasts, waist, boobs and all other add-ons aren’t nice but is the stress worth it? Must you have to steal affection and attention? You surely don’t need anyone who simply can’t love who you are outside of makeup; you don’t need someone who doesn’t find the original you attractive. You need someone who admires you, your acne infested face, your brown or white skin and your figure. You may not understand how important it is until you invest time into getting someone to love the fake you only to lose them later after every failed attempt to get them to accept who you are.

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Nobody loves to be cheated and every relationship that kicks off on falsehood will likely never stand the test of time. That is why it is important that when you are going on a date, he should be able to meet you and not the image of you that you want him to meet. 

Wait a minute! I am not suggesting that you go on a date without makeup; my advice is that you show up to your date the same way you appear to people on a daily basis. If makeup is part of your daily fashion, it is cool! Personally, I prefer to meet people the way they are. You can look great without looking different so that there won’t be a contrast between you of yesterday and you of today. 

I remember going on a few non-romantic dates where they appeared very stunning the first day but looked so different other days that I met them unplanned. Sometimes, it is disappointing to me because the lady I have gotten used to is the one I see in makeup and not the one I see without it. It also makes me withdraw myself because there is no point being much closer to someone who can’t be themselves. I want to be in love with people I know and not makeup that can be washed away in the rain.

There is also no point trying to be a nice person on a date when you aren’t a nice person every day of your life. If you don’t speak British accent, why pretend you do just because you went on a date with a Brit? If you have a habit of laughing too much, you have nothing to hide just because you want to be accepted. Allow people to see you and still see you tomorrow, let them not end up seeing you today and seeing someone else in you tomorrow. If they don’t like who you are, let them reject you immediately and you can also do the same. On your first date, be carelessly you so that people who truly want you can connect with you.

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No rule says your first date experience must be successful; no rule says everyone you are meeting for the first time must like you and want to meet you again. While there are so many dating ideas, don’t abide by every rule. The essence of meeting people should be to get to know yourselves and do something together. It could lead to a business partnership, it could lead to a more serious relationship and it could be another opportunity to learn new stuff! 

When you meet someone in your true form, it makes it easier for them to make a decision. Let them like you, not your pancakes, foundations and so on. Ultimately, your first dating goal should be to develop friendship and nothing more.

By Onyedikachukwu Nnadozie

George is a brand strategist at Funtrick Technology, an author and a public speaker. He takes time to write on George's Diary. He also writes his opinions on politics and similar subject on Gist Afrique.

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