It is a common thing to associate the woman with the kitchen and when we speak up people tend to label us attention seekers, people who raise dust out of nothing.
But this isn’t the case.
I am not just a believer of the school of thought where I belong, I am a doer, doing what I preach with every sense of commitment to see a change. I would not expect a female friend in my kitchen if she visits me. The idea of a woman belonging to the kitchen has been more prevalent but it is abnormal.
Except we share some sort of intimacy which technically makes my house your home, I’d prefer to serve you food as a visitor. I also wouldn’t be desiring that a woman comes over to fix my apartment or do my laundry just because the society enjoys a flawed idea of what being female means.
Assistance should be voluntary, not a kind of responsibility forced on a specific gender. I believe that I can also help a female friend do her domestic chores in the case that I visited and found her working around the home. We’d make noodles and I wash the plates, she may be washing clothes and I am rinsing them.
Going down memory lane, I remember a sweet soul I used to have as a friend. I came around her family home once upon a time and we made meals together, it was enough for every member of that home and it was an experience I cherish to this moment. This is something I can equally do with male friends. Being responsible isn’t a gender role after all.
If everyone could get hungry, everyone should master the art of basic cooking. The school of thought that believes cooking is a feminine duty affects the society wrongly. Of course, there are many homes where the woman happens to carry out most of the domestic duties and they don’t get any form of appreciation from their spouses because it is believed to be their sole responsibility.
Every societal problem has its root in the family. Irresponsible men are results of poor parenting or you don’t you think so? Many boys weren’t raised to be responsible in the home and they grow up into adults with the wrong mindsets. However, I also believe that every adult has a responsibility to learn what he or she couldn’t learn from their parents.
Isn’t it appalling that there are families where the man and the woman contribute financially and yet the man expects the woman to do all the chores alone simply because she is a woman? Who defined women as domestic slaves? Who defined the rules of marriage? I guess we grew up to meet these abnormalities and it became the new normal.
Because many women have been raised to be domestic, most would prefer to do meals and dishes but it doesn’t make it their job, they ought to be appreciated. We must understand that this isn’t gender-roles and only then can we look at our wives in the eyes at every meal to say “thank you”. Far from that, we can also take turns to serve our wives breakfast or surprise them with food when we are back from work earlier than them.
Like every other domestic chore, cooking is a basic survival skill. For the men, marriage is not liberty from these things, we should be able to serve one another. If you want a cook, you can hire one. If you want a housekeeper, you can hire one. You can address your cook as a cook but your wife? She is your wife and the synonym of “cook” is not a wife